Monday, February 13, 2006

Exorcism Needed for Butter Fingers

Players, fans and the press alike have been baffled for many months by the statistical anomaly that is Mike M.'s double record. It just does not seem possible to lose so many matches in a row. The exact numbers have been stated with frequency elsewhere and need not be repeated here. It seems clear that Guns has been possessed by some sort of malevolent entity, a minor imp perhaps certainly some sort of evil spirit at the least. There simply is no other way to account for The Streak. Conclusive photographic evidence has also been provided:


Here we see Mike last week dropping Ben's deadly and feared putter into the raging water at Jordan Creek, never to be seen again... Of course this was while he was supposed to be spotting to prevent just such a tragedy. Somehow the disc apparently just slipped through his buttery fingers. Some might say that this "accident" was intentional, some sort of petty retribution for the fact that Ben and the Natural were, once again, on fire in the doubles round - with Ben's putts particularly straight and true. DGC does not think this weak display was intentional however, rather we believe this was simply another manisfestation of Butter Finger's demonic possessor. The results speak for themselves: Ben and Dan +3, Mike and Saito +11 with The Streak continuing and the beast inside's power growing (further exacerbated by the second round: Ben/Saito +3, Mike/Dan +7).

To dispel any further doubt simply examine the results of the blizzard pairings at Tyler State Park. Butters and Shanks were the obvious favorites. Two seasoned vets always in the mix vs Ben and Mike (the Champ has been playing well as of late but would need lots of help from the relative newcomer who was playing for the first time in a few months) and Dave and Saito. Actually Maddog and Saito inspired some fear in the competition - the combo of Saito's touch and Dave's power can be devastating as Mike and Ben witnessed over New Years. Nevertheless, Ben and the Burglar emerged victorious, setting a new course record in the process. While the match was close, all Wiesburg and Ben had to do was get out of the way and let the beast take over. It worked with Mills and Shanks pushed out of contention through mental errors down the stretch and Maddog and Saito making a game attempt but ultimately ceding too many strokes on must makes. The Streak lives....

Mike W/Ben -1
Dave/Saito +1
Mike/Ravi +2

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

The Answer

Knowing Coach Saito has Mills in his stable, Shankar hedges his bets against a poor showing this season by training a new recruit...