Dynamic Duo

Best Disc Doubles. Everyone loves it: players, fans, sponsors. It gives all the competitors a welcome cushion from some of the harsher moments of disc. Your partner is there to mute the effect of your inexplicable lapse in concentration resulting in your disc hitting that enormous oak tree five feet in front of you. Or that five foot put you just casually bounced off the front of the basket. Instead of going into a blind rage, kicking or hurling your new disc bag across the landscape, spewing curses wantonly from frothing jowls, you just turn to your Partner and plead with doey eyes for him or her to not make the same dumb mistake. And usually they don't. Scores are lower overall, there is much less of a gap between first and last, and there is a welcome dirth of bogies of the double to quadruple variety. What's not to love?

And make no mistake, love is definitely in the air. In recent weeks, a certain doubles duo has been turning heads: The cozy pair of Saito and Mills. First, they crushed the threesome of Ben, Tomoko and Aisha at Tyler, shattering the course record by many strokes. Then, they defeated the veteran combo of Ben and Mickey again at Tyler (in Tournament layout) in a close match decided on the next-to-last hole. Sure Mickey has hurled plastic only once in the last three years or so and, as he would be quick to tell you, he is quite rusty. Nevertheless the Micker is still viewed as a pioneer of the sport....and the tour's new young whippersnappers seem to have thrown down the gauntlet against the old guard. Let the veterans of the tour take note: these lads are ready to rumble.

The Dynamic Duo (as they are now stylingg themselves) have a wonderful, close chemistry out on the course. It all starts several hours before the round where they coordinate bag composition over the phone. Each knows what discs will be in the other's bag. Next, at the course Saito gets in his first tongue lashing of Mike, just a mild berating delivered over some minor pretext: being late, wrong discs, outfit, etc, it doesn't really matter why - the point is to set the tone for the team. Mike needs to be handled, told what to do and what not to do while having the skill to get his assigned task done. Man-of-the-300-Discs for his part, is not just good at keeping Mills on a tight leash, he is also rather gifted at the delicate art of course management, responsible for steering the pair around the links, strategizing their shots. Mike particularly thrives under this arrangement, using his dead on approach and powerful forehand as his chief weapons. Saito in addition to the MikeManagement, contributes his ever improving drive and consistent putt, not to mention his sunny disposition. Both bring the swagger.

Who will rise up to this new challenge? How would the Dynamic Duo fare against Ben and Dave (a.k.a the mighty Dream Team) or some other formidable pairing. Stay tuned...

Photo Opp

Based on the body language in the below photo, which two of the four tour members would be most comfortable together as a doubles team?

Power Rankings

DGC is proud to introduce a new feature: The Power Rankings. Who is on a hot streak? Who's skills have atrophied from lack of use?

1. The Champ - (Previous Rank, 1) He has been pretty consistent of late. While he did manage to drop one round to Mike at Tyler and another to Dave at Wickham this summer he has otherwise dominated, including sweeping the recent three course event hosted by Shankar as well as two hard fought rounds at Norwalk this past weekend. Excellent distance off the tee combined with a veteran short game make The Champ still the man to beat on tour.

2. Mike M. - (Previous Rank, 3) Mike M has taken over the number two spot from champion contender Maddog. The last time these two played head to head Maddog got the worst of it. Fans are clamoring for a rematch. Is this a short term shift or has Millsbury finally edged ahead of Maddog for good? His forehand is looking extremely sharp, his approaches are dead on. Once the backhand becomes more consistent he may have the complete game.

3. Maddog - (Previous Rank, 2) While always dangerous, Maddog has not quite been as consistent as he has been in the past. Aside from one narrow victory in the rain at Whickham recently, he has not been able to best Mike or Ben in head-to-head competitions this summer. Still, Dave has proven time and time again he deserves to be considered amongst the sports most elite players, and there is perhaps no player more feared. Still, it is going to take a few W's for Dave to reclaim past glory.

4. Saito - (Previous Rank, 5) Disc golf's new wonder boy has been turning heads of late. He has shown flashes of brilliance both in his drives and around the greens which hint at his ability to compete directly with the sports elite. Just this past weekend he clipped the Raven's wings, comfortably finishing ahead of Shankar by six strokes. Saito can no longer be ignored as a threat. Watch out Maddog - Saito is not done climbing.

5. Shankar (Previous Rank, 4) The sports resident wild child, Shankadilly, has fallen on hard times on the course. His once feared putting stroke was not present during his latest foray with the big boys. While he has spent plenty of time beating up on the Sports C Tier, we have not seen him make any sort of threat to the top of the division and is the first of the old school to fall victim to Saito's emergence. Perhaps it is the off the course distractions what with beautiful baby Samara, or perhaps the skills have simply reached a plateau? One thing is sure, the competitive fire remains and you can bet Shankar will be working hard towards regaining his former stature.

6. Bruen (Previous Rank, 7). While Greg has been spending most of his time in the bush leagues, reports indicate ample playtime and increasing skills being honed deep in the blue ridge mountians. We shall see how he stacks up at the upcoming Charlottseville Invitiational.

7. Tomoko (Previous Rank, 8) Gushing recent bride Tomoko has all the tools necessary to make a big push in the ranks: a beautifully smooth stroke, a fanatical coach, and a wonderful attitutude out on the course.

8. Wiesburgler (Previous Rank, 6). The Burglar has been absent of late, preferring winter's lack of foliage. Nevertheless he has been playing with increasing skill and could present a challenge for the likes of Bruen, Tomoko and Shankar when in top form. Hopefully he will get back on the course soon.

Not Currently Ranked due to inactive status: Bernstein, Chester

Ravi and Greg's Grand Day Out

Independence Weekend 2006: Sylvan Splendor & Strutting Cocks

Senor Shanks and the Peanut Butter Pirate had ample reason to celebrate over the July 4th weekend...Armed with a spirit of adventure akin to Lewis and Clark, the two intrepid discers headed down to the pastorale hamlet that is Spotsylvania Va for some wicked disc on what may be one of, if not the best disc package around: The Grange.

What’s the Grange? A stellar combo of three privately owned courses, two of which are current PDGA Supertour sites and recently held the Viriginia Open. The third is a fun little ditty of a “Pitch and Putt”--The Tiki Course; complete with wacky sculptural adornments and Christmas tree lights for late night gambling rounds...

The Grange is: A true disc paradise with artfully crafted and challenging holes including hills, valleys, sand traps, ponds, wildflower gardens, putting in a horse corral... A Mach III challenge that begs to be played...A mega chill-out for disc fanatics only complete with a Disc Store Truck, fridge for your muchies, free range birds, barns with old arcade games, and two rockin’ courses: The Dark Side and the Sunny Side. "

I’ll give you an idea of what Mike Trapasso and his family have to offer you...Tight fairways, excellent pin placements, truly outrageous rough, neither long nor short, no crowds--only discers who call ahead and ask to play... Shanks and moi played respectably with RS closing out the day with a +7 and GB with a +17...Excellent play, great company, and our own set of pro courses for the day...Needless to say, I’m inspired. After my loss to Saito ( he played an excellent round, I did not) I was forlorn, but alas, I return! A new member of the Blue Ridge Disc Golf Club, ready to play, I glady welcome any to Charlottesville for a round at Walnut Creek, or a noble crusade to a former Deadhead’s disc paradise: The Grange. As an aside, Shanks and I hit Burke on Monday July 3rd and throwing from the pro tees I threw a +2 and Shanks -2...excellent disc. Peace and gentle hyzers..." Below, a pic of your narrator, Greg:

Greg

New England Invitational

Shankmeister recently hosted a two day, three course disc marathon at his sprawling Connecticut estate. A veritable who's who of the Champions League's top competitors descended both to duke out mid season bragging rights and to partake of the ample off course activities offered by the generous host (i.e. poker).

Saturday consisted of a singles round at 27 hole Buffemville followed by best disc doubles at famed Maple Hill. The competion was stiff at Buffemville, but the Champ managed to lead wire to wire in large part due to the seemingly deep spiritual connection between him and the Surge, which was flying unbelievably long and true. The Maddog was nipping at his heels however, gaining some momentum after nailing a long approach shot on the difficult hole 17 . A lost disc and a few OBs on the treacherous back 9 sealed his fate at second however, undoubtedly a dissappointment for Gramps on his home course.

Meanwhile Ravi and Saito were waging a hard fought battle for third until Saito, after chastising Dave for his shot selection, managed to launch one of the most ill fated projectiles ever to challenge the force of gravity. Driving from atop the dam down onto a windswept peninsula, his disc flew dangerously high into the crosswind and was then dramatically swept 90 degrees off target, easily clearing the adjacent hole and dropping into the churning funnel of white water flowing into the middle of the dam - an obstacle which most competitors would not really consider to be in play on this particular shot. Saito lost a few more pieces of plastic before the day was done, further confirming his theories regarding the relative merits of courses with water hazards and helping Ravi to cement third place. Fortunately for Saito the depletions to his bag should be easily replaced due to his prudent massive overstocking of key discs.

The field was chauffered down the rode to the afternoon venue where the mixed doubles competition provided the weekend's most intense match. On the lead card Ben and Saito took on Ravi and Dave on the Maple's elements course. The first shot of the round presented the Champ with his first opportunity to fulfill his bold New Year's resolution that he would clear the pond. An errant shot in the windy conditions went well left though and Ben was left to ponder what went wrong and hope for another chance. Dave and Ravi came out of the gates solid as a rock, maintaining par through about hole 9, with both veterans making valuable contributions. Meanwhile Ben and Saito had a few slipups to drop them a few strokes behind but they remained optimistic after a few promising opportunities. Ben nailed the flagpole protruding from the basket with a beautiful drive over the water on hole 8 but alas the disc bounced directly back into the drink, robbing his team of a what could have been a nice chance to make a move. Finally things started to turn around on hole 11, where Saito and Ben combined for a pretty par on this extremely long hole while Dave and Ravi couphed up an ugly doubler, whittling down their previously growing lead to about two strokes. Ben and Saito attempted to turn up the heat. After having some great looks on the next three or four holes, it was only a matter of time before Goldman's beautiful drives and Saito's putting would connect. Finally on hole 16, much to the crowd's delight, Saito stuck a difficult ~35ft putt to tie-up the field. The gladiators were still locked in a tie after 18 and returned to the intimidating hole 1 - where the opportunity to win the match in dramatic fashion presented itself. Again, Ben's attempt to clear this 350 foot beast fronted by a disc swallowing pond were for naught. Both teams managed pars however and the endurance contest was on. Finally on the sixth hole of sudden death, Ravi and Dave's heretofore unbelievably steady game faltered, with a bogey from a bad approach allowing Ben and Saito to claim a hard fought victory. Below, Ben does a celebratory dance, as Saito looks on, slightly amused while hole 1 looms menacingly in the background.

On the way to the scorer's hut, Ben tempted fate and took one more shot at clearing the pond on hole 1, taking advantage of a brief lull in the wind. He stepped up with an unusually determined look in his eye and launched a career defining drive which nestled within 10 feet of the hole exactly pin high. He completed the birdie and, for a brief moment, all was right with the world.

Ravi sadly dropped out of Day 2's scheduled competition at Wickham, preferring instead to sit home and count his previous night's haul of poker winnings. Below, is this man bluffing?


The Champ, Gramps and Saito rose to the challenge, but alas this round was practically over soon after it began. Both Saito and Dave found serious trouble the first few holes and after hole 4 the scores stood at Ben: even par (including a first time drop in birdie on hole 2); Dave and Saito +8. Despite this ginormous gap in the scores, Ben started sweating over the final few holes as his lead had dwindled to a mere 2 strokes over the hard charging Dave (who plays those last 4 holes particularly well). Ben managed to barely avoid what would have been a devasting collapse and once again claimed victory, with Dave close behind and Saito gamely bringing up the rear.

Scores
[anyone remember?]

The weekend prior to the extravaganza reported on above, a round was played at Tyler where Mike the President attempted to defend his course title. This also marked Dave's return to competition after a bit of a hiatus and the rust certainly showed. Ben claimed victory, with Mike M taking second and Dave narrowly edging out Saito for third.

Trip Report

Saturday. Memorial Day weekend and I am cruising down to VA to visit with the parents. The car, also affectionately know as "my baby" (side note: perhaps I should start dating again) is looking good, waxed and gleaming and running oh so fine. The holiday traffic is a real bummer though. I keep repeating to myself outloud in my best imitation of Mike M as a whiney girl: "Go in the morning and I'll come". Lies, horrible lies. But thats okay, I dont really mind the deliberate deception as I could see how the early departure, traffic and searing heat would have probably combined for an irritable companion and less than competitive opponent on the course. Think of Chrissy's apt one word description.

Nevertheless, disc is on the menu. First course, Brandywine Creek State Park outside of Wilmingtion, DE. As I pull into the parking lot, Saito is in the midst of a 12 step post-putting-practice stretching routine. Now here is an opponent whose enthusiasm never wanes, god bless him and his family. And the course is incredibly nice, wide open rolling hills surrounded by lush farmlands and mammoth estates. Oh beautiful day. I play pretty well out of the gate too, reveling in being able to attack every drive without worrying about hitting a tree ten feet in front of the tee. Not too worried about a dramatic upset today, Saito's threat potential is greatest on a technical course whereas this is more of a bomber. I wont bore you with the details, primarily because i dont remember them as it has been too long but I think I won two rounds with the second reasonably close. Saito played well but for me his most memorable feat was prompting that I throw one of the new discs I have been sitting on: the Surge. Like a match made in heaven this disc and I joined in some fundamental way. I am not talking about the superficial closeness some competitors may be attempting to obtain with their discs in the shower, rather an irresistable and powerful metaphysical bond. We immediately struck a deal. I throw, disc goes where i want or beyond 80% of the time. The other 20% of the times it is allowed to horribly shank or hit a tree. Pretty good deal for me i think. Anyway you'll be hearing about The Surge much more in posts to come, dont worry..

Sunday. Headed down (or up rather as i've been relegated to the basement cause my old room has been converted to a pied a terre for the baby) to the stocked fridge chez parents and cop a nice breakfast. Putz around, go for a bike ride and then, once the heat of day becomes near unbearable, make a pilgrimage to the Shrine of the Champion, that hallowed course where the Champ first learned the game and honed his now formidable skills: Burke Lake. I managed to drag Shana along through old fashined big brotherly threats and we braved the memorial day reveling masses out onto the course. As it turns out, Shana proved to be the most game opponent i faced over the weekend. Probably something to do with my apparent determination to reacquaint my discs, intimately, with every tree on the course. It was so bad that Shana was clearly unimpressed with my skills, wondering alound "I thought you were supposed to be good?" and clearly confused (or was it pity?) as to how i could have a trunk full of plastic and still suck so muck. Nevertheless, fun, and ice cream, were had so it all worked out in the end.


Shana lines it up....






Lets it fly....









And watches with trepidation as it narrowly avoids a family picnic enjoying their prime spot in the middle of the 11th fairway...






Monday. Crap. The weekend is over already. Time to head back to NY. Well after another quick round at Burke versus Mickey of course. The difference between yesterday and today is astonishing. Mickey didnt stand a chance, poor guy, as my drives are soaring long and true with the trees showing proper respect. Micker's jaw dropped a few times. I ended up with a tidy -7 to his +2 or +3. Still, for not playing for almost a year Mickey was surprisingly good - sticking many a long putt with aplomb. I have not a doubt that were he a regular participant in the tour, he would be mixing it up with the A tier inside of a few months. So now it is really time to go back to NY. Okay one more stop. Back to Brandywine where Saito and the dynamic Tomoko await. Some nice disc was played by all. I do love watching those discs soar over the rolling hills, hanging in the air for seemingly minutes at a time, preferably in the general direction of the basket but i'm not all that picky. Everyone is playing pretty well. I am in the lead on 17th when a proposition is made, negotiations are entered into and it is decided that if Tomoko can drain the 30 foot putt she faces for par, she will be declared automatic winner. She steps up, winks once, and rings chains, taking home the victory. If there was a gallery, it would have gone wild. Anyway we head up to Media, PA, for some celebratory brews and pub food. And then, really, back to brooklyn.

And another one bites the dust?

Its late in the afternoon on the second day of an all disc golf weekend. The Mikes are home, licking their wounds from the previous days exertions. Only two gladiators remain: The Champ and Young Saito. Over the previous 3 singles rounds, spanning 2 courses and 65 holes, the closest Saito has finished to the Champ is down 7 strokes. Yet here he is, tied with Ben going into the 25th hole at Tyler, brimming with confidence and the glow of possibility. The scores are not particularly pretty (+11, +11, although Saito is on his way to a PB, on a very hard layout) and mostly reveal a story of steady play by Saito, of particular importance the absolutely dead on putting in the 20-30 foot range contrasted with a range of costly errors by Ben. Highlights include having a seemingly decent approach for a par lay-up dissappear over the cliff? under a bush? into the water? and turn into a tripler. 4 or 5 missed putts from the 15 foot and under range and a few approach shots which were so godawful retirement should be seriously considered. There were a few bright spots to the Champ's game, mostly in the form of miraculous saves from further damage, including a huge par on a 40 foot steeply uphill desperation putt.

But now however, its hole 25 and Saito has the tee. He lets out a fairly safe drive that leaves him with an unobstructed 100 foot approach. Ben unleashes a monster which sails beyond the 322 foot pole and fairly far right dissappearing out of view. Despite Saito's secret hopes for OB, Ben is actually just fine and faces a routine 50 foot anhyzer approach around some lettuce. Brain fart #12 occurs and he dumps the approach in dirt less than half the distance to the basket and in keeping with the theme of the round, misses the putt. Young children in the vicinity are permanently scarred by the string of profanities which ensue. Saito calmly sticks his 20 footer (for about the 15th straight time) to take a 1 stroke lead with two holes to play.

They step up to hole 26. Ben is trying hard not to think about what it would be like to suffer the fate of other fallen pillars of the sport (those shallow husks of men, the Mikes and the Shankars) and to just focus on the shot ahead. But first Saito. Again unremarkable but safe. If Ben doesn't make some sort of move here it is all but over. He reaches in his bag and pulls out an old friend, his trusty red orc which while it may not be the disc of the moment has served the Champ well in past moments of peril. A hush falls over the gallery as he steps to the tee. Goldman silently recites a brief calming litany and swiftly unleashes his shot. Level, smooth, long and straight as an arrow - the red orc nestles five feet left of the 311 foot pin for a birdie putt even Goldman cannot shank. Easily the best drive this reporter has ever seen on hole 26. Saito is momentarily incredulous but quickly regains his composure. He knows that even on an off day the Champ wont go down without a fight. Back to tied.

They step up to the final hole which is for the first time in the very long position. Goldman throws his best drive ever on this long uphill hole, which would have netted a legitimate birdie look at the former position. Saito's shot is somewhat errant and looking like a sure 4 as he throws 2 approaches to within 10 feet. Goldman has a great look from his booming drive and spies another fairly straight forward approach for an easy 3 and the win. Brain fart +13 occurs. He leaves it well short, left and uphill of the hole. Still though he can end the nightmare now with a makeable 25-30 foot downhill putt. Not to be, it falls short, teeters and rolls 15 feet beyond the basket and down the hill. Far enough that the comebacker poses a challenge, especially given the debilitating putter's block which has been afflicting the champ. As Ben steps up Saito quite perspicaciously points out to the Champ how important the shot is. Ignoring this bit of trash talk, Goldman smoothly hits the chains, sending the match to a 3 hole play off.

Hole 1: two pars on two missed birdie attempts. Hole 2: saito finds trouble in the woods and ends up with a 20 footer in order to save bogey 4. Goldman has his best drive of the day on this hole but still must complete a 50 foot approach down a narrow path to make a par. He chumps it and has to take a bogey. Saito steps up for his bogey putt and what has become ridiculously routine distance and somehow misses it, giving Ben a stroke lead. Saito is completely deflated, although the match is far from certian. The next hole is a challenge, also in the very long position and has given the Champ problems in the past in the form of early wood. Both drives end up decent and both competitors have the same difficult approach through the woods to an uphill elevated basket. Goldman goes first. He needs a perfect shot here to maintain the tenuous 1 stroke lead. He digs deep and somehow weaves the most miraculous shot through the woods with a risky backhand driver approach which nestles snugly at the base of the basket, ending the dramatic potential upset. The mostly pro-Saito crowd let out a cry of dismay and was obviously dissappointed at not having witnessed what would have been one of the most incredible moments in the history of modern disc golf. The Champ however was obviously relieved. As for Saito, haunted by his missed putt (although which in the end probably wouldn't of mattered) and teased by victory so palpably close the excitement of scoring personal best faded by the wayside. But make no mistake, I'm sure we'll be hearing again from this youngster. He's gotten accustomed to the taste of blood and soon he will be closing in for the kill.

Results:

Nockamixon State Park
Doubles: Mike and Saito +3, Ben and Mike W +9
Singles Rnd 1: Ben +9? Mike M +14? Saito +20, Mike W +30
Singles Rnd 2: Ben +10, Saito +17, Mike M +20, Mike W +28

Tyler State Park
Round 1: Ben +9, Saito +18
Round 2: Ben +12*, Saito +12 (*Ben wins playoff)

Saito Ascendant

Ali versus Frasier. Nickalus versus Palmer. Classic matchups, the greatness of which have reverberated down through generations. Well, add another Brawl for the Ages to the list as a new rivalry has been born. Saito versus Shankar. The Young Whippersnapper versus the Hairy (or is it Harried?) Veteran. New versus Old. Professor against Professor. This is more than a clash of ideologies though, while that is certainly part of it. This is more. Years of smacktalking, competition, bets won and lost, paid and *cough* unpaid are all coming to a fore. In short, a new power is rising, one that may break Shankar on its climb to the top.

This past weekend, Saito strode into Connecticut and smacked Ravi around on his home turf, taking 3 of 4 rounds from Shankmeister at Norwalk, leaving him gasping and shocked, very much like this poor lady with the bad hair. Ravi awoke the next day as if from a bad dream and managed to save a bit of pride, taking third to Saito's fourth at mighty Wickham. Let there be no doubt however, the battle is now truly joined between these two competitors. Will Ravi recover and put this ornery upstart back in his place? Or will Saito continue to ascend, perhaps pausing momentarily to stomp Ravi by the wayside as he progresses towards more enticing game. Mills? check. Shankar? check. Ben and Dave....

Results:

Norwalk
Round 1 Saito +8, Ravi +9
Round 2 Ravi +11, Saito +12
Round 3 The Champ +7(?), Saito +11, Ravi +14
Round 4 The Champ +8, Saito +12(?), Ravi +15(?)

Wickham
Doubles: Ben and Ravi +1, Saito and Mike +4
Singles Rnd 1: Ben +8, Mike +10, Ravi +15, Saito +20
Singles Rnd 2: Ben +7, Mike +11, Saito +16

Semi-Annual Clinic

This Sunday, legendary champ B. G. held the first installment of his Semi-Annual Disc Golf Skills Clinic (79.95, pre-registration fee) at Tyler State Park. In attendance were Saito, Mike W, and Boxy the disc-loving dog. It was a smashing success, with the participants raving about the abundant one-on-one instruction time. "I saw things today that I never knew were possible with a disc" said one participant. Another exclaimed "Wow, just wow. Just being able to bask in the presence of such a disc golf legend was worth the registration fee. I have already pre-registered for the fall clinic."

The one rather recalcitrant participant was Boxy the dog, for whom neither tasty jerky waived in his face, stern commands, or any number of other attempted techniques of distraction could keep him from chasing after, licking, and grabbing in his jowls whatever disc was thrown with such single minded focus it was astonishing. Now I am no dog expert but it seems to me that your typical dog would be more interested in rooting through the woods, chasing squirrels and just generally reveling in the outdoors, rather then chasing a piece of plastic. Not Boxy. This dog was born to fetch and nothing seemed to be able to preempt this ingrained behavior. Eventually it was enough to force Mike's hand, who spent the second round studying up on the Clinic guide book in lieu of playing.

First round:
Ben +5 (started bad but settled down nicely)
Saito +17 (score inflated due to the Boxy effect)
Mike W +20 something

Second round:
Ben +3 (individual course record, could have been negative if could only hit some 15 footers)
Saito +16 (lost steam towards the end, but was otherwise a solid round).

Once Upon A Time...

Once upon a time, deep in the rolling hills of south western Connecticut there lived a mighty King. Dashing and handsome he was and all the folk of the land adored him so, for he ruled with a kind hand and they flourished under his reign. They affectionately referred to him as Lord Cranberry, King of Norwalk, and they frequently gathered upon his sprawling estate, called Cranberry Park, at his invitation to frolic in the sun and share in the bounty of the land. On a recent fine pre-summer day, the King himself emerged from his large, yet cozy home situated squarely in the middle of Cranberry Park and mingled with the common folk, even deigning to play a round on his private disc golf course with a select few lucky minions. The King was actually just out for a tour of the north and west fields, to review the barley and medicinal herb crops which would soon be ready for harvest. He figured, however, that his stroll would hardly be interrupted by a few drives and putts and so his Highness and the lucky townsfolk made their way round the course on the way to his harvest inspection. Even though he is a kind and gentle monarch, the common folk were in obvious awe of his royal stature and seemed nervous and distracted out on the course. The King paid no heed. He simply, as the French would say, laid "Le Smack Down" upon the lucky plebians, allowing them to fight over the scraps of second place. Shankar, the town crier known to have literary pretensions, was one of the selected participants and he emerged as the most hungry for the remnants from the King's table. Mills, a local artisan, was simply too dumbfounded by his good fortune of sharing a round with the revered king to actually be competitive. When all was said and done the lucky participants retired back to the village and regaled the rapt towns folk with tales of the amazing drives, dead on putting and consummate sportsmanship displayed by their King - and all were again content that they should be so fortunate as to be blessed with such a wonderful and skilled ruler. The End.

The King +11
Shankar +22
Mills +23

Back on the Air!

DGC's ongoing coverage of championship caliber disc golf was temporarily interrupted due to a court order in connection with an ongoing bribery scandal investigation, covered in more detail below. DGC's own crack legal team however has just returned from court with a new decision in hand, granting a motion to vacate the original restraining order. DGC will now continue its award winning reporting on the Championship Tournament Pre-Season Tour.

We have seen in the last few weeks the most amazing blend of drama, athleticism and scandal ever witnessed in the admittedly illustrous history of the Tour. March Madness was certainly in full bloom at the Warwick Invitational three weeks ago where the biggest story surrounded newcomer Saito "Man of the 200 Discs" as he scored his first singles finish above an established tour veteran. While Vegas odds-makers had Shankar an overwhelming 3:2 pre-season favorite to be the first player overcome by Saito, it was in fact Guns Mills, aka Mr. President (8:1) who received this dubious honor*. The feat followed a doubles round in which Saito and The Champ's much vaunted putting skills failed to materialize allowing Guns and Maddog to earn a comfortable victory behind Guns' strong all-around play, breaking the much discussed curse at last. Round 2 was a different story however, as Guns missed the most basic of putts and looked generally flustered. Ben meanwhile quietly led the pack with Dave one stroke back. Dave had chance to tie the match with a nice birdie look on hole 16: He locked in and let loose a dead-on up hill shot which clanked off the rim and then rolled thirty feet down the slope, squashing Dave's tender spirit and leading to two more bogies down the stretch for the deflated Maddog. Saito meanwhile had been leading Mills for some time with solid putting and consistent drives when Mike faced a medium putt to catch him on 17. He....choked it and the gallery went rabid with anticipation at Saito's impending historic first. After the round Saito looked straight into the camera and declared "Shankar, your next". Ben and Mike then held off Dave and Saito in a final doubles round but most of the spectators were too drunk with excitement following Satio's feat to notice.

Warwick Results:

Doubles:
Rnd 1: Dave and Mike (+3), Ben and Saito (+5)
Rnd 2: Ben and Mike (+something), Dave and Satio (plus something higher)

Singles:
Ben +3, Dave +6, Saito +7, Mike +8

Next week the tour was in Hartford for the Wickham Park Season Opener. Shankdog, Ben, Guns and Maddog all received late admittance to the event on various sponsors exemptions. Maddog, at least did not dissapoint. He smashed the rest of the field in curmedgeonly fashion fashion, winning by a record setting 8 strokes. Ravi meanwhile had a tough day, harried by the look of a man haunted by Saito's impending threat. After elbowing through the mobs of fans and Hartford glitterati we managed to ask the usually tight-lipped Maddog what the difference was today: "Those other guys pretty much just suck. If I bring my A game, its game over, and you can quote me on that". Indeed. Ben and Mike however were able to represent NYC with class and skill in the doubles match, putting New England and its hick Red Sox fans properly in their place.

Wickham Results:

Doubles:
Ben and Mike (+2), Ravi and Dave (+4)

Singles:
Dave (+5), Mike (+13), Ben (+13), Ravi (+22)

And then this past sunday, the Masters. Ben managed to avenge the embaressement of a week before but Dave once again grabbed the headlines with an Ace on hole 16. His disc split a "Y" shaped tree by mere inches at the start of his drive and then soared towards the hole, skipping off the ground clanking cleanly into the chains. Ching! Dave went a bit looney with excitement, climbing a tree, ripping off his shirt and proclaiming "I'm King of the World" followed by an indeciperable series of snorts and howls. The shot left the crowd frenzied and delirous. Just the hole before, Ben had made dramatic move with a birdie against Mills's bogey to take the lead. Dave was still a few shots back but his Ace leap frogged him in front of Mills and one behind Ben for a 2 stroke seperation amongst the leaders. Dave faded away down the stretch however, still probably delirious from his ace. Ben and Mike ended up tied heading into the final hole following an unusually poor putting performance by The Champ. Mills shanked his final drive though and Ben scraped out a victory, ending a tense and exciting round.

If anything the doubles round which preceded it was even more dramatic. Bernstein and Dave tried to continue Dan's undefeated doubles record against the dashing Brooklyn duo of Ben and Mike. It looked like the streak was in serious jeopardy though as Ben and Mike coasted to a comfortable 4 stroke lead and already had their minds on the mid round bbq. Dan turned out to have other plans (which is a good thing 'cause he forgot his potluck dish). On the final three holes he nailed three long pressure packed putts to claim victory. On each of these putts Dave had already shot and missed. The most amazing was on 17. Ben and Mike had a drop in birdie. Dan and Dave needed to match or the comeback was all but over. From deep in the woods, on one knee, Dan launched a 30 footer down a narrow low cielinged tunnel: it nicked a branch, veered 35 degrees and swooped into the chains like it lived there, quicker then a mama's boy rushing home after school. On the final hole Dan stepped up and nailed another long putt and then cast some funky mojo on Ben and Mike to force them to shank a 15 footer which would have tied. Ladies and Gentlemen, there is a new streak on the tour.

The Wickham Masters

Doubles:
Dan and Dave (+4), Ben and Mike (+5)

Singles:
Ben (+7), Mike (+8), Dave (+8), Dan (+15)


*Art mogul Mills is currently under federal investigation for a scandal in which he attempted to bribe and then sue DGC editors to not print the news of his loss to young Saito. Mills' bottomless pocketbook and attack dog lawyers are responsible for the restraining order keeping this site out of commission for three weeks.

The Johnny Boge Classic

Have you ever wondered who Johnny Boge is? Neither have I but the picture on this flyer reminds me of what a co-worker of mine once said when I told her that I played disc golf: "Oh, thats the sport that all those dirty hippies play?" Well a bunch of dirty hippies, lawyers, graphic designers, slum lords, prospective NYC residents and assorted others gathered at Tyler State Park this past Sunday for the Johnny Boge Classic. Conspicuously absent were any Professors of Japanese History on spring break, but alas I guess tournament play is not for everyone.

Mike M and Myself played in the AM1 or advanced division, while Mike W, Dan the Natural and special guest Su Ning prepared to rock the AM2 division. Personally, I should have been in the AM2 as well as, and please excuse my ineloquence, I completly sucked! But fortunately that did not diminish the fun. Su Ning and I were paired with a very chill pro player for the first round and we had a very pleasant time. I was forced to remember not to curse quite so loud, it being a tournament and all, when my putts went awry, and did manage a few nice shots but mostly i just watched in awe as the pro on our card outdrove me consistently with his putter. He ended up taking second in the pro division. Our group was forced into the unsavory role of having to reprimand the group behind us (of guess who) for a few gross violations of etiquette but otherwise they seemed to getting on just fine.

After the first round, Mike M was 5 strokes up on me and both of us were pretty much out of contention in our division. The competition in the AM2 division was heating up however as Su Ning, Dan and Mike entered round two seperated by a mere stroke.

Here is Dan's account of the two rounds:

Fresh from their hour-long backseat huddle, Mike Mills and Weisberg, together with Dan, set off for round 1 with Ben's admonition to "Play the lie!" resonating behind them. The veteran Mills as usual started out slow, but buckled down to finish the round of 27 with a 95. Mills was disappointed with the score, perhaps affected by his swearing off of the forehander, but his numbers held up nicely when the cards were tallied. Weisberg's consistent drives got him some nice looks and a first-ever birdie, but rusty putting drove his score up to a still respectable 114, matched exactly by Dan.

The latter two were pleased to be ahead of, and paired with, Su Ning Strube, aka Strube Doo, in the second round. Guided by the mantra "Toss it high, watch it die; keep it low, watch it go!" Dan improved his drives. His hard chucks proved at least as useful as Su Ning's smooth tosses, and Mike W. would have been right there if not for a few inconveniently placed trees. Coming into the last hole, Su Ning led by a stroke. When Dan well outdistanced her drive, he moved into the catbird seat, secure in the knowledge that Su Ning's putting had been shaky in round 1. But after a sold approach shot, mindful of the day's other mantra, "Pick a link, watch it sink," Su Ning nailed the putt to take the win, finishing the 18-hole second round with a 69, dude.

Editors note: it was a pleasure to have Su Ning out on the course with us - what a damn trooper, not having played in over two years, rallying on less than 4 hours sleep to charge out into the cold PA countryside for a ridiculously long day of disc and to kick some butt in the process. There is no doubt that WHEN she decides to move to NY she will quickly become a force to be reckoned with on tour. Mike M's score was good enough to play on the second AM1 card in the second round but he did not quite turn on the jets enough to finish in the $$.

The Curse Gets Nasty

March 11
Nockamixon State Park, PA

Ben Hogan once said "I play golf with friends, but there are never friendly games". How aptly this describes the twisted manifestation of The Curse this reporter witnessed in the third round at Nockamixon.

The day had started pleasantly enough with some exciting golf and warm sunny temps. Two rounds had been played. In the first doubles round Mike and Saito once again fell to the undefeated duo of Dan and Ben, final score +5 to +8. Of note this round was the noticeable improvement in Saito's putts. Whereas Mike didn't even touch chains on a putt over 15 feet, Saito rose up for his team and knocked down some monsters with confidence. Alas it wasn't enough and Ben and Dan were solid and steady. Second round saw a singles format and the Juggernaut again took control, final scores: Ben +8, Mike +16, Saito +18, Dan +22. Saito and Mike were tied going into the final hole and the buzz running though the gallery led most commentators to believe this was finally Saito's day to take down a tour veteran. Mills had a few tough holes, including a lost disc retee, also a double OB hole in which he hit the tree Saito had previously labled the one in which only losers could possibly hit. Millsbury came up clutch at the end however, nailing a long putt on 18 to grab par while Saito struggled to a double bogey. It should be noted that with the exception of a few tough holes, Dan played extremely solid and is very close to declaring his pro status.

While the day was waning it was so delightful out that the competitors decided to play another round, daylight permitting. Prior to this round I might have disagreed with Ben Hogan's words of wisdom, however the Curse's dark nature drove the point home. Mike and Dan were paired up and playing well (although strangely leisurely with daylight fading). On the 16th hole they held, amazingly enough, a two stroke lead over Saito and Ben, who were both having lackluster rounds. Ben's drive on 16, while a seemingly straightforward shot, turned up lost. Here are Ben's own words describing the moment: "My precious! Lost! Oh how desperately I searched for my number one driver, perfectly broken in and the source of my best drives of the day. The search was in vain...and ultimately had repercussions i did not anticipate." Unbeknownst to Ben at the time, Mike was apparently seething in frustration at the delay. After the end of the hole and the determination that it was too dark to continue, he promptly accused Ben of deliberately stalling to prevent the Curse from being broken... Wow. Surely such a base and disgusting accusation could not be taken at face value - there must be preternatural forces at work here. Its not like the Champ has never lost to Mike and never expects to in the future, he could probably care less, the accusation seems patently absurd. Or perhaps Hogan was right - when the discs come out of the bag, there are no friends...

In any event Mike and Dan led by two strokes with two (very long and difficult) holes to play. You readers be the judge if this loathsome Curse is finally lifted... If not perhaps Mike will have enough confidence to buck the monkey off his back the next time out without waiting till dusk to warm up. While drama boosts DGC's ratings, this reporter is rooting for the lifting of the Curse, pleasant rounds are easier to report on.

editors note: its all good

Vancouver Invitational

This past week the elite golfers of the Champion's League were invited by the Royal Disc Golf Society of British Columbia to participate in an exclusive invitational at Quilchena Park in Vancouver, BC. The trio decided to arrive a few days early to hit the slopes of Whistler where fortune blessed them with heaps of delicious fluffy powder to romp through and apres ski delights galore. After four days of smiles at this little slice of heaven their legs may have felt like strawberry jam but their souls were refreshed and fully prepared for the competitive rigours of the Vancouver Invitational Tournament. They did not dissappoint.

The trio finished in the top three in both the morning and afternoon 36 hole sessions. In the morning session, Maddog steadily pulled away from Mike and Ben with his plodding efficiency, finishing with an impressive +3. Mike and Ben battled for second and on the final hole an unlucky OB shot by Ben gave Mike the edge, +7 to +8. Round 2 started in the rain but our heros from the North East were not dissuaded. They charged back onto the course and were rewarded with sunshine after about 6 holes. Still some sloppy disc took place in the meantime and after the first 12 holes the scores stood tied at +4. The sunshine, fresh air and mountain views had a delightful effect on Goldman as he stepped up his play to build a lead during the second set of 12 holes: +5 for Ben, +7 for Dave and +8 for Mike. Still, it was anyones game heading into the final twelve holes and the gallery was scrambling to get good views of the lead card. The reigning champ did not dissapoint, pulling out all the stops for the enthusiastic crowd by devirginizing three previously unbirdied holes with fantastic drives to build a 5 stroke lead over Maddog. Goldman's cries of "I'm the Juggernaught, bitch!" rang through the upscale Vancouver neighborhood as he took control. Sadly, Guns wilted like a delicate flower after a spring frost, having left most of his will to dominate up on the slopes, unable to call upon his energy reserves for a late charge. When all was said and done Ben coasted to victory with a +3 (including a -2 for the final round and with a score as high as +6 at one point), Dave had a respectable +8 and Mike finished with a dissapointng +14.

Notes: Late in the second round Guns showed off his fiery temper, almost coming to blows with the Tournament Director when he suggested that Mills may want to rest in the car while Dave and Ben finished the competitive aspect of the round. Guns retorted "It will be a cold day in hell before I take a DNF on my card...although a nappy poo with my bah bah would admittedly be nice." Dave had this to say about the course and the city of Vancouver "I am moving here, no doubt about it. Three courses in the city limits, a sushi restaurant on every corner and I can climb atop a mountain or gyrate against a tree every day? What more could a man want!?". Further demonstrating just how cool this city seemed, just after flying in we of course squeezed in a quick nine holes (in the cold rain mind you) before driving up to Whistler. Also on the course out discing it up in such conditions was a twosome of cute girls. And they were legitimately cute too, not just from the skewed vantage point of my notoriously generous disc golf goggles.

Exorcism Needed for Butter Fingers

Players, fans and the press alike have been baffled for many months by the statistical anomaly that is Mike M.'s double record. It just does not seem possible to lose so many matches in a row. The exact numbers have been stated with frequency elsewhere and need not be repeated here. It seems clear that Guns has been possessed by some sort of malevolent entity, a minor imp perhaps certainly some sort of evil spirit at the least. There simply is no other way to account for The Streak. Conclusive photographic evidence has also been provided:


Here we see Mike last week dropping Ben's deadly and feared putter into the raging water at Jordan Creek, never to be seen again... Of course this was while he was supposed to be spotting to prevent just such a tragedy. Somehow the disc apparently just slipped through his buttery fingers. Some might say that this "accident" was intentional, some sort of petty retribution for the fact that Ben and the Natural were, once again, on fire in the doubles round - with Ben's putts particularly straight and true. DGC does not think this weak display was intentional however, rather we believe this was simply another manisfestation of Butter Finger's demonic possessor. The results speak for themselves: Ben and Dan +3, Mike and Saito +11 with The Streak continuing and the beast inside's power growing (further exacerbated by the second round: Ben/Saito +3, Mike/Dan +7).

To dispel any further doubt simply examine the results of the blizzard pairings at Tyler State Park. Butters and Shanks were the obvious favorites. Two seasoned vets always in the mix vs Ben and Mike (the Champ has been playing well as of late but would need lots of help from the relative newcomer who was playing for the first time in a few months) and Dave and Saito. Actually Maddog and Saito inspired some fear in the competition - the combo of Saito's touch and Dave's power can be devastating as Mike and Ben witnessed over New Years. Nevertheless, Ben and the Burglar emerged victorious, setting a new course record in the process. While the match was close, all Wiesburg and Ben had to do was get out of the way and let the beast take over. It worked with Mills and Shanks pushed out of contention through mental errors down the stretch and Maddog and Saito making a game attempt but ultimately ceding too many strokes on must makes. The Streak lives....

Mike W/Ben -1
Dave/Saito +1
Mike/Ravi +2

The Answer

Knowing Coach Saito has Mills in his stable, Shankar hedges his bets against a poor showing this season by training a new recruit...

1st Annual Basket Making Contest

Disc Golf Chronicle is pleased to announce the 1st annual Disc Golf Basket Making Contest. Prizes valued at many thousands of dollars will be awarded to the participant who designs and constructs the winning basket. All baskets must be entirely composed from objects on the Approved Materials List and are limited in size. Here is a prototype I whipped up after work as an example*:


The lucky winner as determined by the DGC editorial board will receive five entire minutes alone with the authentic Beaded Champion's Necklace from Season 1. The Season 1 Champ, recognizing the inspirational power of this legendary trophy, has graciously agreed to make it available for the 5 minute private session with the winner.

Let the basket weaving begin!

For inspiration, check out this guy's blog, Just Baskets, chronicling home made baskets the world over. At first I thought, wow I should post a link on DGC as a way of proving there were those more obsessed with this sport then me or my showering-with-their-discs friend(s). But then i figured, hey to each his own - and some of those baskets are pretty funky. Some of DGC's loyal readers probably wouldn't be caught dead on some two-bit homemade backwoods course, and perhaps I am one of them, but then again I have a course in my living room so I'm probably not in position to cast judgment.

*not true

A President Impeached and a Newbie Unleashed

Saturday, January 28
Newton, PA

The self styled "Mr. President" thoroughly embaressed his make believe administration just one week after annoiting himself with the controversial nickname. History is illustrative here, as the real President Tyler (1790-1861), known as "His Accidency", was also a bit of a sham having been the first and only Vice President elevated to the Presidency upon the death of his predecessor. His Accidency was also the first President to be impeached - foreshadowing a growing chorus of fans and doubles partners discontent with Millsbury's apparent inability to live up to his new nickname.

Shankdog threw down the gauntlet earlier in the week, issuing a direct challenge to Mr. Mills for a head-to-head match to decide early season bragging rights. Citing concerns about the weather and other questionable excuses, "Mr. President" demurred. Shankdog then had some unflattering comments vis-a-vis his Accidency's manliness, comments which were echoed by a young tour member who stated, off the record, that "...I think Mike is a p%#!y, but not because he didn't play Ravi Friday."

With this backdrop, the President was eager to squelch the critics during two rounds at Tyler State Park. Demonstrating the shortsightedness which has come to typify his administration however, Mills failed to properly account for the arrival on the scene of Dan "The Natural". Ben and Dan teamed up for an opening round doubles beatdown upon the hapless Mills and Saito, posting a new course record of +2 and maintaining a comfortable lead throughout the round, the very first round every played by The Natural.

We caught up with Ben after the historic victory and asked him about the Natural: "Well it was so refreshing to actually play with a doubles partner who tries on every shot. I have become so used to having my partner put forth only a token effort. Not so with The Natural on my card, the man came to play and I was as dazzled as everyone else out here with his clutch performance."

After a delicious catered lunch sponsored by the Swarthmore College Japanese Studies deparment, the singles round began. Despite the energy conservation methods employed by Mr. Mills during the doubles round, he was unable to establish himself atop the leader board. Insteac, the three time reigning tour champ calmly asserted his dominance, scoring key back to back birdies to delight the sizeable gallery and separate himself from the field, eventually coasting to an easy victory. Meanwhile Saito managed to fend off the Natural in his singles debut. Dan was certainly in the mix but learned all about OB and early wood on one particularly painful hole, enabling Saito to avoid the second upset of the day. The Natural had this to say about his first day playing disc: "Its pretty fun." Indeed.

Results:

Doubles
Ben/Dan +2
Mike/Saito +5

Singles
Ben +8
Mike +12
Saito +20
Dan +24

Hater's Response

[note: views expressed are the Hater's own]

I found much of Professor Shogi’s rebuttal inspired and inspiring. His opening salvo regarding what I shall call the “rhetoric of hate” instantly quickened my pulse. Although equating my prose and that of Nazi Germany could only be described as “ill-advised” at best (see Senator Byrd’s, Santorum’s, and Durbin’s recent troubles on this count), part of me wishes that his attention to this riff were sustained, and his logic more fully explicated. There is rich material to be mined there…perhaps in another forum. (www.crazy_logic.com?)

I also found absolutely brilliant the flanking maneuver by which my own accusation of disc golfers’ “intense fetishism” was cleverly redeployed in a blindside counter-attack implicating me in nothing less than exclusionary sports fetishism! Ouch. Hoist by my own petard, as they say. In my own defense, I would probably call myself a “purist” rather than a “fetishist,” for a sport’s status qua sport does not guarantee it immunity from criticism (an example: baseball = sport = snooze fest).

In this and other passages Saito actually anticipated a number of points already scheduled to be made in the next Hater’s installment (stay tuned). Rather than address these in a labored, point-by-point rebuttal-rebuttal here, I shall allow the more germane topics to find suitable breathing room in my next installment. I will, for now, offer only the following two direct retorts.

1. While I found compelling the good professor’s explication of the disc golf industry as both not big business and envious of same big business practice—the “Five ‘n Dime” that wants to be the very WalMart that will destroy said “Five ‘n Dime”, if you follow— I found his conclusion, which I’d summarize as “don’t hate the player, hate the game, player hater,” rather on the weak side. If, as “Satoru” himself suggests, these disc companies, despite their shoe-string budget and limited resources, do indeed play the “corporate game,” then I’m not sure how they are immune to my allegations of, to quote Saito quoting me, “loathsome big-business commercial exploitation” and “pure capitalist commodification.” As we all know, and I quote, “if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and looks like a duck, it must be a duck.”

2. Dude, a “muggle” is, by definition, a non-wizard. Therefore, Harry Potter does not teach us, indeed CANNOT teach us, that being a muggle has no impact on one’s wizarding ability. Rather, quite the opposite holds: if you are a muggle, by definition, you are not and cannot be, a wizard. To be fair, perhaps you meant “mudblood,” which is, of course, a wizard or witch born of two muggle parents or a muggle-wizard couple? Hang on, have you actually even read any Harry Potter? RIF: Reading, It’s Fundamental, man. And you can quote me on that.

Brooklyn Gets a New Course!

The local disc golf community is rejoicing today as their ultimate dream has finally been realized: a permanent 18 hole disc golf course in Ft. Greene, Brooklyn. The president of the Brooklyn Disc Golf Club, BG, received the astonishing news earlier today in a phone call from the chairman of the new projects committee for the NYC Parks department. The committee voted unanimously to grant BG's temporary course permanent status. We caught up with BG at his brownstone in Brooklyn where he described the design of this new addition to Brooklyn's thriving recreational facilities:

Well its a full 18 hole course located, conveniently enough, in my apartment. Given the space limitations however we had to get creative with some of the hole layouts. Actually though at present, until i find a buyer for my dining room table and couch, there are only three holes and each is played six times. But of course the beauty of disc is it just never gets old. To be more specific though the "holes" are actually just one shot each, pretty much putts and consist of a straight 18 footer, a straight 20 footer and a straight 23 1/2 footer. So yeah its pretty exciting, decent variety yet still challenging. The whole community is just absolutely stunned at this windfall. For all of our many years of hard work trying to make this happen to finally pay off in such a spectacular fashion givng us a world class facility right in our backyard, err living room, its just incredible.

Response to the Hater's Perspective #1 by Sat416

[Note, all text by Saito, opinions expressed are his own, enjoy!]

Quotation marks dedicated to Mike M.
Parentheses dedicated to myself.

It’s funny how haters share a similar language. They often talk of origins, definitions, and morality. Replace the various nouns in Adam’s “Hater’s Perspective” (oh no, the hater’s anonymity has been shattered!) with suitable nouns from early twentieth-century Germany and you get the rhetoric of the Third Reich (or with hot nouns of today and you get the rhetoric of Bush America). Yeah, it’s an exaggeration but you get the point. Sure, Adam might claim that his words are rhetorical and sarcastic, but I would argue that this mode of expression is a reflection of the exclusionary self-defense mechanism of a hater (Adam characterizes his own post as “controversial” and “polemical,” two words that describe the effect of his post while attempting to put some distance between his post and his true beliefs).

I mean, should disc golf be hated because it’s not a sport but rather a “novelty game” as Adam calls it? Is being a sport one of the necessary attributes of liking an “athletic” activity (well, no doubt Adam will deny the “athletic” nature of disc golf in the next installment)? Who decides what is a sport and what isn’t? As with any debate over definitions, isn’t it all arbitrary and, therefore, cultural (cultural=room for haters)? If we take Olympics as a guide for what is considered a sport, then I certainly would say that disc golf is a sport, and I think that everyone would have to agree (prancing is a sport according to the Olympic committee as long as enough people do it). Doesn’t the need to deny disc golf the status of being a sport reveal a fetishism of a nay-sayer over the word “sport”? Does calling something a sport and denying others this label—a process of exclusion, which employs a similar rhetoric to that of the recent national discussion over what constitutes a marriage—imbue the object of this label with sacredness? Is this sacredness produced to make people feel better about the “sport” that they play? And why must the question of origin influence one’s opinions of a “sport”? As Harry Potter teaches us, it doesn’t matter if you are a muggle as long as you are a good wizard, no? Yes, disc golf is a bastard child. But don’t most “sports” share this fate? What about American football or baseball? After all, aren’t most if not all sports about putting it in the hole, hitting it where they ain’t, killing the other guy, or some combination of the three?

Granted, disc golf is an exceptional case (golf with Frisbees), and its name suggests its “unoriginality” (we don’t call tennis ping pong with bigger paddles, but, oh wait, we do call it table tennis), but I would argue that it is this “unoriginality” which foregrounds the subversive power of disc golf. Disc golf offers to us over-the-hump former athletes (or so we like to believe) an alternative to “regular or ball golf,” as disc golfers like to call it (no doubt to Adam’s amusement/disgust). Disc golf doesn’t require purchasing acres of land off that poor farmer whose crop didn’t fare too well the previous season nor does it require cutting down numerous trees upsetting the tree huggers toward whom Adam, to my surprise, is so sympathetic. We don’t pay exorbitant amounts of money to corporations to play in their nicely groomed playground. Instead, we use previously unused areas of parks and we play for free for the most part. Whether adequate or not, disc golf offers the best alternative to the most consumerist, exploitative, capitalistic, and “establishmentarian” sport of them all, precisely because disc golf and ball golf are similar in the skills they require. Yes, all this is pretty commonplace. I’m sure Adam has heard it all before so let us move on.

Back to Adam’s argument: I think that Adam is partly correct in his characterization of disc golf as a product of “the loathsome big-business commercial exploitation” and “pure capitalist commodification” that has destroyed a “meaningful form of anti-establishmentarian cultural expression.” He is incorrect in that us disc golfers do/have done nothing (at least to my knowledge) to prevent people from throwing “saucers” to conjure up UFOs. We don’t go looking for people throwing “saucers” for fun to beat them up. In fact, we often look like we are calling UFOs when we are on the course. If these so-called “tree-hugging hippies” don’t throw round plastic objects anymore, then I would say it’s more of the fault of the X-Files than of disc golf. He is also off the mark when he calls Wham-O a “big business” and repeatedly uses some form of the word “corporation” to describe the disc golf companies. No doubt, the disc companies would love to become big corporations who would be hated by a culturally conscious critic such as Adam. They would be flattered if not elated by Adam’s likening of disc manufacturers to Nike (when he jokes of Nike producing “thousands of slightly different kinds of Hacky Sacks”). In reality, though, these manufacturers (the top three being Innova who also makes Millenium and Wham-O discs among others, Discraft who also makes DGA discs, and Gateway) are nothing but a slightly more athletic version of your local “mom-and-pop” store or a potter who sells his wares out of his home studio (for the record though, there is a company who makes discs in China). Consisting basically of a professional disc golf player, his friends and family, these companies in no way are corporations, as Adam claims. They are barely making ends meet. They produce discs not by the millions but more like hundreds and thousands, at best. This state of affairs, of course, trickles down to the players. Disc golf is a sport whose top professionals must take on day jobs so that they can go compete on the weekends.

Of course, not being a corporation doesn’t prevent these disc manufacturers from playing the corporate “game.” They are certainly no saints: they steal ideas, copy designs, and, as Adam claims, exploit the consumers. They work very hard to produce value through differentiation, churning up similar discs one after another under the slogan of “newer and better.” But can you blame them? If it weren’t for these companies, we will have no discs to throw. For them to stay afloat, they need to make money. To make money, they must create a demand among the consumers. Let’s say for argument’s sake that we only need one disc to play disc golf (more on this later). For “corporations” like Innova to produce this single disc, they will need to produce a lot of something else on the side, for it is easy to imagine what would happen to their business if their product consisted of a single disc. While they may play that corporate game, it is the capitalistic system within which we must all survive that ultimately dictates the game plan.

This is not to deny Adam’s claim that I have become a victim to their sneaky strategy. I have no problem with Adam characterizing my disc collection as a display of “intense fetishism.” I am a hoarder, but in my own subversive way. I only collect discs (must be cheap, old, or beat) that no one else wants. I go against the fad, rejecting the top-of-the-line plastic that these manufacturers push so hard. Sadly, this is the extent of my “anti-establishmentarian cultural expression,” I guess. But then again, I am just one player. What about Dave who Adam would surely agree never buys anything unless he absolutely needs it. Can he really argue that Dave too has become a victim? It is true that disc golfers display an above average fetishism toward their discs than that displayed by players of other “sports” (although I don’t really see a difference from a tennis player who goes through rackets month after month or a runner/soccer player looking for perfect shoes). If you take a peek at the PDGA (Professional Disc Golf Association) forum, you will quickly see the amount of discussion allocated to the question not only of the differences between specific discs but also of the differences between specific runs of the same disc. For example, the much-coveted Nightshift Orc (supposedly named as such because the disc was produced by the nightshift crew of Innova) is, in theory, no different from the Tulsa Special Blend Orc that Ben got from his Santa, but the former is said to fly “sweeter” and thus, sells at a much higher price. Such example seems to support Adam’s claim of corporate manipulation, but, at the same time, one needs to realize that such display of fetishism is also a result of the small-time nature of the disc golf companies who do not have the money to ensure quality control over their products.

In the end, whether having various discs is a form of pure fetishism that is devoid of any functional advantages must be decided by Adam himself when/if he plays a round or two. Perhaps, he will be one of those guys who can excel with a single disc, but if he feels the need to change discs for a specific shot, then he will have rejected his own theoretical opinions. My belief is that while his stubbornness will surely get in the way, he will covet and love different types of discs, much in the way that he covets and loves different types of orchids. After all, Adam, like me, is a scholar, and what do we do in the end but to produce value=meaning through differentiation (and this goes back to his “fetishistic” categorization of what constitutes a sport), just as disc golfers argue how different the first-run Z Buzzes fly from the current run of Z Buzzes, leading to the first-run Z Buzzes (originally $10-15) selling for over two hundred dollars on EBay.

But sadly enough, my feeling is that Adam will remain a hater. Yes, it would be fun to play a round with him once a month or so, considering that most of us never see him except once or twice a year, but if he doesn’t feel the need to spend some time with his closest friends, then there doesn’t seem to be anything more to say. Perhaps, his critical mindset will forever resist the bastardized and commodified non-sport that is disc golf. Its questionable past will no doubt haunt him in his sleep if he were to pick up a piece of plastic (the closest one since it matters not to him) and, god forbid, hurl it without the intention of communicating to alien forms of life. Yes, he will remain steadfast in his hate, being the moralist that he is. Can we really expect anything less from a hater who is also a soccer-loving intellectual? Oh soccer, that “pure sport” born in the great “Great Britain” whose popularity is founded upon its imperialistic ventures throughout the world in the glory days of old (for the record, people have been kicking balls around all over the world well before the dark ages). That “sport,” or rather the opiate for the masses which gives the illusion of social mobility to the disenfranchised youths in ghettos all over the the still-imperialistic and growingly-corporate globe (yes, basketball can be said to be the American version of it). That “sport” where billionaires who’ve made their money on lucrative capital ventures like oil drilling purchase players as if they were Frisbees on a display rack. I’m not saying that I hate soccer or “football” as they like to call it. While I don’t play soccer, I enjoy watching it. I guess this is where Adam and I differ. I love a sport for the competition it invites, the physical skills it requires, the mental challenges it brings, and, most of all, the camaraderie among and appreciation of human beings it fosters. If this makes me a “willing, if oblivious, participant(s) in the broad social erosion of cultural values,” then I guess I will just have to live with it. Anyways, since when did upholding “cultural values” become “anti-establishmentarian”?

Haters Perspective #1

This is the first installment of a special feature here at Disc Golf Chronicle, a series of 3 articles authored by a hater of our beloved sport. Let it not be said that a free and open debate does not take place on these pages. Our guest author, who for fear of the backlash such hating could bring upon his professional career prefers anonymity, has fired off the following installment as his first salvo. Note, the views expressed below are solely those of the author and not mine. Enjoy!

Disc Golf: A Brief History (aka If You Steal It and Market It, They will Buy It)

I’ll just go ahead and put it out there. I am a hater. I am also trained as an art historian. So before tackling the question of whether or not disc golf should be properly labeled a sport (SPOILER ALERT: the answer is “no”) and why I so detest this so-called sport, I felt compelled to delve into the origins of the phenomenon that is the focus of the Disc Golf Chronicle. I don’t mean to cast a dark cloud of negativity over this happy little feelgooderie, but I am afraid, and this is not a charge I make lightly, that disc golf embodies nothing less than the loathsome big-business commercial exploitation, and thus annihilation, of a previously meaningful form of anti-establishmentarian cultural expression.

The annals of history are enlightening in this regard. Disc golf’s origins, wholly unsurprising to this commentator, are to be found in the record books of the Research and Development Division of Wham-O, the original producer of the Frisbee. Even though former Wham-O R&D director and self-styled father of disc golf “Steady” Ed Headrick takes full credit for inventing the modern Frisbee, he also baldly admits that he appropriated the concept fully formed. Where, you ask? Well, during the 1960s, hippie UFO enthusiasts could be found throwing popular flying saucer children’s toys called Pluto Platters, surrounded, one can only imagine, by clouds of pungent smoke on some California college campus (“Groovy, man, just watch that saucer fly;” “Far out, sister,” etc. and so on…). Walter Frederick Morrison had developed the Pluto Platter in the ‘50s. His failure to promptly patent his platter-shaped brainchild (the take-home lesson: you gotta patent that shit, man) was tantamount to a handwritten and perfumed invitation to a savvier and more ruthless businessman such as Headrick to swoop in and steal it. Had it not been “Steady” Ed, it surely would have been someone else.

Bingo, a craze was born, as Wham-O a) patented that shit, man, and b) marketed it out the frickin’ wazoo. This established posthaste the Frisbee’s vaunted position in the Crappy Novelty Fad Hall of Fame alongside the Super Ball (also “invented” by “Steady” Ed Headrick when he stole…sorry, “discovered”…blobs of synthetic rubber developed by the auto industry to dissipate heat generated by tire flexion and realized that they bounced!), the pet rock, and the hula hoop, Wham-O’s unsold stores of which, incidentally, were melted down to create the initial battalion of Frisbees). Wham-O’s sole contribution to the development of “their” product: emblazoning on it a black ring of flame and the Olympic rings!
Forget the iPod, ye students of sophisticated design theory; the Frisbee is where it’s at!

Why these decorations? I have no clue (more creative thinkers, please submit thoughts on the back of a self-addressed stamped envelope. Or in the “Comments” section, even. I may have admitted to being an art historian but I never said I was any good). Wham-O couldn’t even think of an original name for the product. It is widely known that “Frisbee” is a bowdlerization of “Frisbie,” of the Frisbie Pie Baking Company of Bridgeport, Connecticut, popular with Yale undergraduates, who whiled away the hours throwing Frisbie’s aerodynamic empty pie dishes back and forth to one another.

In one easy move, “Steady” Ed transformed a “far out” pastime favored by hippie peaceniks into a vaguely militaristic Roswell-meets-atomic-bomb-test-ring-of-blackened-fire-and-brimstone iconography-inscribed commodity. That is, from pacifist expression of flower power to pure capitalist commodification; from the transformative power of counter-culture to the illusionary and ultimately unfulfilling so-called values of consumerism. This is the trajectory traced by the Frisbee’s early narrative arc. But what a seller it was! Like hotcakes, man!

Meanwhile, back on the ranch, “Steady” Ed dared to push the already bulging envelope even further. Risk and consequences be damned. Icarus-like, “Steady” Ed dreamed of touching that big ball of golden cash money in the sky. Or at least he dreamed of stealin… inventing a set of wings that would fly Wham-O to the sun and fill its coffers, if not his own, with moolah (It should be noted, in the interest of scholarly disinterest, that “Steady” Ed was paid only $10 compensation for licensing his Frisbee patent to Wham-O, as per the stipulations of his employment contract. D’oh!)

What else can I steal,” he likely mused to himself, “to really milk this great Frisbee idea.” Like the great Zeus’s lightning bolt, it struck from the blue. “The only thing better than stealing an extant idea and aggressively marketing it as the must-have “sporting” accessory for picnicking, dog-owning, beer-guzzling yahoos,” Headrick’s logic surely arrowed, “would be to combine it with an extant, rule-defined game, thereby lending a potentially cut-throat edge to a formerly egalitarian and non-competitive pastime.” Screw those Peaceful McPeacertons with their blissful flying saucer fun. Standardized rules, official playing venues, merchandising opportunities, marketing strategies, professional organizations, competitive tournaments, and membership fees were required, damn it! Why, it would have been un-American to ignore these kinds of lucrative marketing tie-ins.

Everyone knows that two great tastes taste great together. And sure enough, by conjoining Frisbee and golf, the centaur, Minotaur, mermaid, sphinx, and satyr of sports was birthed! I’ll grant y’all this: disc golf is, if nothing else, the Cadillac of the novelty game, the Prada of the Velcro-glove-and-ball, paddleball, and Hacky Sack set. But, sadly, it actually fares far worse upon more critical inspection. Imagine any of the aforementioned made highly competitive, and you’ll get a closer cousin to disc golf. Think competitive yoga, and you begin to approach the ludicrous proposition that is Frisbee… I mean, disc… golf. Then, imagine if, say, Nike were to market thousands of slightly different kinds of Hacky Sacks: a large-weave crochet for windy conditions; a hexagonal paneled sack for easier visibility on overcast afternoons; fine grain sand stuffing for better control, etc. and so on. (Hacky Sack, incidentally, was invented by a couple of Oregonians in 1972; they eventually sold the rights to the Hack Sack footbag to…wait for it…yes… Wham-O.)

Only then could Hacky-Sackers match the intense fetishism displayed by the average disc golfer, Saito, who collects dozens of plastic discs in the misguided belief that there is actually some difference between, say, the Shark DX, the Polaris LS, the Starfire Pro, and the Valkyrie Champion. It’s not interplanetary travel, guys. Neither NASA nor Martians are designing these flying saucers, remember. They look different ‘cos…well… they look different. Deceptive advertising has managed to convince of the desirable and tangible goal of owning a product even though it lacks the ideological meaning of the very cultural form from which it was initially pillaged. I’m no hippie, but at least those good-natured, tree-hugging UFO enthusiasts believed that their Pluto Platter playing was part of a larger revolutionary protest directed in part at the very short-term ego-gratification offered by big businesses like Wham-O. Disc golf is, quite simply, a sordid manifestation of exploitative corporate strategies and the commercialization of a once radical, but non-confrontational, counter-culture. Beyond the stupidity of the game itself, disc golfers are, I’d argue, willing, if oblivious, participants in the broad social erosion of cultural values. So there.

In the next Hater’s Perspective: Korfball, tug of war, bridge, roller-skating, orienteering, and disc golf. Can you spot the odd one out?

My New Toy

It even matches my couch.... thanks mom and dad!

Round Reviews

Surpisingly, or maybe not so surprisingly, in the last two weeks, I have played three rounds: snowy doubles over new years, the Ice Bowl tournament at FDR and finally, a round yesterday with Saito and Mike at Tyler State Park.

First, the doubles. Dave, Mike M, Saito, Tomoko and myself braved the fresh snow to play a New Years Day round at Prompton Lake, 20 minutes or so from our cozy cabin in the Poconoes. Saito and Tomoko had the option of picking their final team member, and in a very wise move chose Dave. Mike and I were left to continue our doubles woes. Basically, we were utterly destroyed. Saito and Tomoko combined for a birdie on hole 1 and the triple threat team never relinquished the lead. The combination of Dave's driving and putting (with an occasional assist from Tomoko) with Saito's laser guided approaches left Mike and I fumbling like newbies. I don't remember the exact score but by the end they had thoroughly put the spank down, about +1 to +6. Nevertheless it was an exhilirating day, the course was just so so but it was fun to get out and about and romp in the snow.

This past Saturday, Mike and I woke up unnaturally early to go play in the FDR Ice Bowl. We layered the long johns, ponied up our 20 bucks, grabbed a free disc, condom and assorted other goodies and got ready to tee off in the advanced division. Mike and I were not on the same card so I was unable to observe Mr. FDR's play closely, but at one point we crossed on the course and he gave me a two thumbs down when asked how his round was going. I actually started very well, almost birding a few holes I never even come close to thanks to the extra distance my drives were getting after skipping off the hard packed icey snow. In my first group was one dude who apparently won the Marshall Street advanced division in 2005 and had just turned pro. We were pretty close until the final 9 of the first round when I started missing putts and hitting trees, even shanking a 5 footer, Chester style. The pro in my group ended up tied for 1st after round one. His game was solid, nothing flashy, all pars and one birdie (i had two) but of course no bogies (or double or triple bogies), each of which i had several. So then we ate some chili and drank some beer and got ready for round 2. My score was good enough to put me on the second card of the advanced players starting round 2. Unfortunately I started off very poorly and was soon out of contention. I finished almost smack in the middle of the pack with Mike M. a few places behind. Incidentally i actually won the closest-to-the-pole contest on hole number 3 with a pretty drive right down the middle to within 6 feet, but failed to collect my prize. Unfortunately, Mr. FDR was definitely not having his best day. If he had played the course the way he is capable of he would have been in the top 5 or so of the division (not bad out of 30). I must say though that the advanced division was a perfect fit for us. Either of us could have won the novice division and the pros were certiainly a notch (or two or three) ahead. Advanced was great because it was a challenge, most of the players certainly knew how to drive and putt, yet on our best days I think we could contend pretty well. All in all very fun and I am definitely looking forward to hitting some more events this year.



And then, yesterday, the 47 degree weather pretty much demanded that discs be thrown. So Mike skipped out on his drunkenboat meeting, much to Ravi's chagrin, and joined Saito and I at tyler. The first round 27 saw a tight battle between Mike and Myself for the lead with Saito not to far behind. I had opened up about a 4 stroke lead but then tripled on the dreaded ravine hole to negate my lead. I clamped down though and kept the hard charging Mike at bay. Going into the back nine the scores were +8 for me, +10 for Mike and +14 or so for Saito. Mike managed to shave a stroke off but I played almost error free to fend him off. Incidentally a lot of the pins had been moved to the C position so the course was playing a lot longer and harder then it had been previously.

We then played another 18 and I almost had the ignominious honor of becoming the first person to fall to Saito. Lets just say a few mental errors resulted in some bad holes and about midway through the round mike had +1 whilst Saito and I were tied at +6. Despite my early troubles, i resolved that I was not going to become victim to this dubious honor, a fate which will be reserved for Ravi at some point in the coming season. So on the very long and hard hole 11, I was able to give myself some cushion over the menacing Saito by scoring par whilst Mike doubled and saito tripled. So now the scores were +3, +6, +9 and Mike was back in my sights. I managed to cut another stroke off and had my opportunities to complete the comeback but just could not convert. Meanwhile, Saito had not given up and played the rest of the round extremely solid, gaining a stroke on the final hole to make it Mike +5, Ben +8, Saito + 9. Phew!

PREDICTIONS 2006

With the New Year comes new opportunities. The missed putts and shanked drives, triumphs and defeats of 2005 are fading from our collective consciousness. Instead our sights a set on the horizon and the possibilities for major shakeups in the coming season. With that in mind I present our predictions for the top finishers in 2006:

My Pics

1. Ben
2. Dave (I honestly think Dave is probably the man to beat this year. He was looking damn strong the last time out, as he usually does, and when he has it all together, which is often, he can really just sit back and wait for the rest of us to beat ourselves while he just plods on, grunting - yet steady and efficient)
   
3. Mike (I agonized over this and initially put Ravi 3rd. Upon further reflection though I just cannot deny that Mike has been consistently a step above all last season)
   
4. Ravi (despite my occasional jabs at him on this board, I think we are going to see some serious improvements and a few tour victories for Shankdog this season, still he's gonna have to earn his way into the top 3)
5. Saitoru (while Mike W may have slightly more raw natural talent, Saito's focus and enthusiasm will reap big dividends in 2006)
   

Dave prefaced his list with the sage observation that anybody can win on any given day:

1. Dave
2. Ben ("slightly ahead" is my best guess at the scrawled annotation in my notes - whether Dave meant he will be slightly ahead of me or I will be slightly ahead of Mike is not clear)
3. Mike (again it either says either "choke artist" or "chokes at end". not sure which but some definite choking going on...)
4. Ravi
5. Saitoru/Mike

Mike M. Lets put him in perspective first and consider that he has only played about a season and a half and has improved so rapidly, much quicker then anyone else on tour, that at his current pace, he should easily dominate in 2006. He basically had no backhand at the start of 2005 and now arrives fresh from NC with a renewed swagger, confident in the distance and consistency in his backhand. Add that to his monster forehand and constantly improving putting game and it seems evident he will be taking down his fair share of tour stops this season. Anyway, his predictions:

1. Mike M.
   
2. Ben ("comes to play")
3. Dave ("not consistent". Thats what my notes say at least, although this does not really strike me as an accurate statement)
4. Ravi (this was a tough decision for Mike and he initially had Saito and Ravi tied for fourth)
   
5. Saito

Ravi's predictions, complete with his own commentary:

1. Dave – after a workman like offseason, the Mad Dog finally has the motivation to match the muscle. This pundit predicts he rockets his drive up to four franklins and continues his all-around solid play.
2. Ben – the defending three-time champ. Enough said.
3. Ravi – all three components are beginning to click and stealthily the approach, a prior weakness in his bag, is becoming a strength.
4. Mills – the monster will have his meals, especially at FDR, but the moat may encroach at the most inopportune moments. Expect both victories and defeats for the long driver on tour.
5. Greg – farmhand practice in the Charlottesville wilds will molt the x-step into a yeoman’s practiced steps.
6. Saito – dead-eye putting combined with a safe approach game will not be enough to compensate for a lack of power.
7. Chester – the wild card can blast off at times but is still known to be susceptible to the psychological rattle.
8. Weisberg - the game is there, but sustained impetus is questionable.
   

Saito

1. Ben (although he did pick himself at first, which is a nice indicator of the determination he intends to bring into 2006)
2. Dave
3. Mike M.
4. Saito
5. Ravi
   

Chester

1. Ben
2. Mike M.
3. Dave [insert many strokes]
   
4. Saito
5. Ravi
6. Mike W.
   

Chrissy, our 2006 New Year's Tournament Poker Champ, a.k.a "The Closer", makes the following completely unbiased predictions:

1. Dave
2. Ben
3. Mike
4. Saito
5. Tomoko (I can see tomoko kicking some ass soon as well. She has a very smooth stroke and a latent killer instinct which will eventually emerge on the course and we will have another certifiable disc golf fiend on our hands)

Tomoko

1. Ben
2. Dave (intially had Ben and Dave tied for 1, but when pressed...)
3. Mike M. (Tomoko had these observations on mike's play: "sweaty" "energy problems". Both of which btw i completely agree with. Mike - keep your shirt on buddy and bring more water!)
4. Saito
5. Ravi

Adam and Gretchen had a very intense huddle before proffering the following predictions:

1. Ben ("historically has been the best")
2. Dave
3. Mike
4. Saito
5. Shankenstein

Hopefully no one will take these the wrong way. They are obviously just for fun so that when we look back at the season after Tomoko comes out of nowhere to secure the Tour Championship, we can have record of who came the closest to predicting the outcome. And of course as Dave so wisely stated, anything can happen on any given day. Also, there is an undeniable trend as to certain courses favoring certain players so where we end up playing the most will have its affects. It may all come down to who wants it the most, in other words who puts in the most time with their practice backet. Mines currently on the UPS truck headed to Brooklyn...