A President Impeached and a Newbie Unleashed

Saturday, January 28
Newton, PA

The self styled "Mr. President" thoroughly embaressed his make believe administration just one week after annoiting himself with the controversial nickname. History is illustrative here, as the real President Tyler (1790-1861), known as "His Accidency", was also a bit of a sham having been the first and only Vice President elevated to the Presidency upon the death of his predecessor. His Accidency was also the first President to be impeached - foreshadowing a growing chorus of fans and doubles partners discontent with Millsbury's apparent inability to live up to his new nickname.

Shankdog threw down the gauntlet earlier in the week, issuing a direct challenge to Mr. Mills for a head-to-head match to decide early season bragging rights. Citing concerns about the weather and other questionable excuses, "Mr. President" demurred. Shankdog then had some unflattering comments vis-a-vis his Accidency's manliness, comments which were echoed by a young tour member who stated, off the record, that "...I think Mike is a p%#!y, but not because he didn't play Ravi Friday."

With this backdrop, the President was eager to squelch the critics during two rounds at Tyler State Park. Demonstrating the shortsightedness which has come to typify his administration however, Mills failed to properly account for the arrival on the scene of Dan "The Natural". Ben and Dan teamed up for an opening round doubles beatdown upon the hapless Mills and Saito, posting a new course record of +2 and maintaining a comfortable lead throughout the round, the very first round every played by The Natural.

We caught up with Ben after the historic victory and asked him about the Natural: "Well it was so refreshing to actually play with a doubles partner who tries on every shot. I have become so used to having my partner put forth only a token effort. Not so with The Natural on my card, the man came to play and I was as dazzled as everyone else out here with his clutch performance."

After a delicious catered lunch sponsored by the Swarthmore College Japanese Studies deparment, the singles round began. Despite the energy conservation methods employed by Mr. Mills during the doubles round, he was unable to establish himself atop the leader board. Insteac, the three time reigning tour champ calmly asserted his dominance, scoring key back to back birdies to delight the sizeable gallery and separate himself from the field, eventually coasting to an easy victory. Meanwhile Saito managed to fend off the Natural in his singles debut. Dan was certainly in the mix but learned all about OB and early wood on one particularly painful hole, enabling Saito to avoid the second upset of the day. The Natural had this to say about his first day playing disc: "Its pretty fun." Indeed.

Results:

Doubles
Ben/Dan +2
Mike/Saito +5

Singles
Ben +8
Mike +12
Saito +20
Dan +24